Thank you! This explains why I cannot get rid of my depression. Telling people to light a candle, suck it up, or journal will NOT help if a person is in financial despair, has pain and limitations, is old and has no money for elder care. We cannot escape such situations, no matter how much medication we take or how much therapy we have. I went to one counselor, who said he would be depressed too if he was in my situation. He had nothing to say to help me. At least he was honest. This post was both enlightening and discouraging. I appreciate that someone understands.
You nailed something crucial. I'm tired of the gaslighting of poor people, using the line, "in tough times, we all have to tighten our belts, learn to make do" when this only applies to people at the economic bottom, for whom a line like that is plausible and familiar, even when it's a cruel lie.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. As a therapist, this is the biggest frustration I deal with. And it's also a personal frustration, because I'm constantly worrying about money myself. Here, in the US, things are getting even worse, and they were pretty bad to begin with. If you're not successful, it's your fault, you deserve whatever you get. I feel like the mental health "industry" needs to get outrageously loud and obnoxious and start making waves so that the known connection between socioeconomic status and mental health becomes a centerpiece around which we talk about everything else.
"Mental health support must include housing. It must include food. It must include safety, stability, and access to care that doesn’t cost a week’s wages. Anything less is just performance."
Thank you for speaking up Salwa. I feel so bad for everyone who sadly finds themselves in this awful position now, or in the past, through no fault of their own, or even if it is their fault, as they had a lesson to learn. As someone with deep wounds around poverty and money, reading this brought shivers of fear and also gratitude my children are grown now with good jobs. The problem is very sadly that we live in a world where 90%+ of the worlds' wealth is in the hands and control, of 5 of the world's richest families and so you and me can sadly change nothing. Add to that governments and countries who are in essence, bankrupt through years of institutionalised fraud and top down patriarchal mismanagement, where on earth do we go from here? Earth being the essential word here. Until we can ALL come together and share out everything fairly with total honour and transparency, I just don't know what the answer is. But I hear you loudly. 💜
Thank you for writing about this very important topic Salwa, I believe and pratice mindfulness, meditation daily and enjoy things like soundbaths, various types of retreats and other practices but I cannot stand 'everything's love and light, just be positive, you just need to meditate and every is perfect' gang! You smashed it with this note. I said very similar things in a course I did 2 years ago and I was faced with severe opposition because I put an end to their fluffy fairytale nonsense in the most firm confident professional but calm no nonsense manner and I kept speaking up. Thank you again for this brilliant note👊🏾
Yes x1000. Classic workplace copouts. We don't want a breath session at lunch time or jeans day Frida or a 'manage your time ' workshop. We want livable wages and reasonable work expectations
Even exercises in grounding, meditation, etc., work best when believed in, when there is faith. Where there is the energy output. And yes, how do we output that energy when we are subsisting on barely making ends meet? Where is the balance? As someone who has also felt challenged lately, I make an effort to feel good, even when times are difficult. It does clear my energy for something new, something wonderful to happen. Yet the energy it takes can feel overwhelming, especially when our worries are right there, on the back (if not the front) burners.
Thank you for writing this. I have been experiencing so much trauma and uncertainty, housing and food instability, medical problems, all without a support system….
I have felt like a failure when everything we are told to do, breathing exercises, exercising, meditation, practicing gratitude, talking to God, have only helped for THAT amount of time doing it.
Of course, real issues like am I going to be able to eat tomorrow, etc. do NOT go away from doing any of that.
Thank you for FINALLY putting this into words!!!!!
Such great points, Salwa. Mental health is often about priviledge and access. Toxic positivity and platitudes aren't helpful. I'm fairly priviledged and have still fallen down the anxiety and depression well many, many times. It's a complex issue with no easy answers. 🤲
Gotta say, Ms. Salwa, this one hit home. Full disclosure: I am a straight white guy who spent 40 years in East Tennessee. But what you just wrote out described a LOT of how I lived the last ten years in that place. Every day, I was made intensely aware how the systems I had to navigate was about punishing me for having fallen like I had (some of it my own fault but not nearly all of it). And I saw plenty that had it worse. How DOES one find peace in such?
I read the World Happiness Report every year. And every year, Scandinavian countries rank among the highest levels of happiness in the woeld. The United States? We are way, way down the list.
You know what’s true about Finland and Sweden? Workers pay much higher taxes than we do. They also have a very strong social safety net for their people. Government actually works for people. They also have a very high standard of living.
But we in the US cannot learn from other nations, because ‘Merica.
Such true words, and somehow so hard to believe. The system is leaving people and with their struggles totally disregarded. I grew up in that toxic bull, and although it pushed me to get through, and I mostly did, the cost to my mental health. I started with being left in a foster system and ended up raising my son alone. Yes I managed but my nervous system is shot. He is grown and I am struggling with anxiety, depression and PTSD. I have no retirement plan. I cannot hear how strong I am one more time from other people. Toxic positivity and mental health support that is financially out of reach is stressful, when one is hanging from their fingernails to feel safe and grounded. Thanks for naming it. ❤️
Thank you! This explains why I cannot get rid of my depression. Telling people to light a candle, suck it up, or journal will NOT help if a person is in financial despair, has pain and limitations, is old and has no money for elder care. We cannot escape such situations, no matter how much medication we take or how much therapy we have. I went to one counselor, who said he would be depressed too if he was in my situation. He had nothing to say to help me. At least he was honest. This post was both enlightening and discouraging. I appreciate that someone understands.
You nailed something crucial. I'm tired of the gaslighting of poor people, using the line, "in tough times, we all have to tighten our belts, learn to make do" when this only applies to people at the economic bottom, for whom a line like that is plausible and familiar, even when it's a cruel lie.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. As a therapist, this is the biggest frustration I deal with. And it's also a personal frustration, because I'm constantly worrying about money myself. Here, in the US, things are getting even worse, and they were pretty bad to begin with. If you're not successful, it's your fault, you deserve whatever you get. I feel like the mental health "industry" needs to get outrageously loud and obnoxious and start making waves so that the known connection between socioeconomic status and mental health becomes a centerpiece around which we talk about everything else.
"Mental health support must include housing. It must include food. It must include safety, stability, and access to care that doesn’t cost a week’s wages. Anything less is just performance."
Yes--this. We must do better.
Thank you for speaking up Salwa. I feel so bad for everyone who sadly finds themselves in this awful position now, or in the past, through no fault of their own, or even if it is their fault, as they had a lesson to learn. As someone with deep wounds around poverty and money, reading this brought shivers of fear and also gratitude my children are grown now with good jobs. The problem is very sadly that we live in a world where 90%+ of the worlds' wealth is in the hands and control, of 5 of the world's richest families and so you and me can sadly change nothing. Add to that governments and countries who are in essence, bankrupt through years of institutionalised fraud and top down patriarchal mismanagement, where on earth do we go from here? Earth being the essential word here. Until we can ALL come together and share out everything fairly with total honour and transparency, I just don't know what the answer is. But I hear you loudly. 💜
Thank you for writing about this very important topic Salwa, I believe and pratice mindfulness, meditation daily and enjoy things like soundbaths, various types of retreats and other practices but I cannot stand 'everything's love and light, just be positive, you just need to meditate and every is perfect' gang! You smashed it with this note. I said very similar things in a course I did 2 years ago and I was faced with severe opposition because I put an end to their fluffy fairytale nonsense in the most firm confident professional but calm no nonsense manner and I kept speaking up. Thank you again for this brilliant note👊🏾
Thank you for your wisdom, grace & bold ferocity speaking truth to power. Reposting! 🙏
Yes x1000. Classic workplace copouts. We don't want a breath session at lunch time or jeans day Frida or a 'manage your time ' workshop. We want livable wages and reasonable work expectations
Even exercises in grounding, meditation, etc., work best when believed in, when there is faith. Where there is the energy output. And yes, how do we output that energy when we are subsisting on barely making ends meet? Where is the balance? As someone who has also felt challenged lately, I make an effort to feel good, even when times are difficult. It does clear my energy for something new, something wonderful to happen. Yet the energy it takes can feel overwhelming, especially when our worries are right there, on the back (if not the front) burners.
Thank you for writing this. I have been experiencing so much trauma and uncertainty, housing and food instability, medical problems, all without a support system….
I have felt like a failure when everything we are told to do, breathing exercises, exercising, meditation, practicing gratitude, talking to God, have only helped for THAT amount of time doing it.
Of course, real issues like am I going to be able to eat tomorrow, etc. do NOT go away from doing any of that.
Thank you for FINALLY putting this into words!!!!!
Such great points, Salwa. Mental health is often about priviledge and access. Toxic positivity and platitudes aren't helpful. I'm fairly priviledged and have still fallen down the anxiety and depression well many, many times. It's a complex issue with no easy answers. 🤲
Gotta say, Ms. Salwa, this one hit home. Full disclosure: I am a straight white guy who spent 40 years in East Tennessee. But what you just wrote out described a LOT of how I lived the last ten years in that place. Every day, I was made intensely aware how the systems I had to navigate was about punishing me for having fallen like I had (some of it my own fault but not nearly all of it). And I saw plenty that had it worse. How DOES one find peace in such?
Hold the most positive vision imaginable, peace and abundance and agency for all... And live this in all your thoughts and interactions...
I read the World Happiness Report every year. And every year, Scandinavian countries rank among the highest levels of happiness in the woeld. The United States? We are way, way down the list.
You know what’s true about Finland and Sweden? Workers pay much higher taxes than we do. They also have a very strong social safety net for their people. Government actually works for people. They also have a very high standard of living.
But we in the US cannot learn from other nations, because ‘Merica.
Such true words, and somehow so hard to believe. The system is leaving people and with their struggles totally disregarded. I grew up in that toxic bull, and although it pushed me to get through, and I mostly did, the cost to my mental health. I started with being left in a foster system and ended up raising my son alone. Yes I managed but my nervous system is shot. He is grown and I am struggling with anxiety, depression and PTSD. I have no retirement plan. I cannot hear how strong I am one more time from other people. Toxic positivity and mental health support that is financially out of reach is stressful, when one is hanging from their fingernails to feel safe and grounded. Thanks for naming it. ❤️
Salwa, would you consider sending this to a major newspaper as an editorial? It may do a lot of good! 👍
Really well put, Salwa. When all the focus is on the individual, we overlook what’s causing the struggle in the first place.