Beautifully written, Salwa. You've described toxic relationships so perfectly and so personally without technicalities. I don't think I've ever experienced a love where I feel safe as you describe: " Real love doesn’t need to be chased. It shows up. It stays. It creates safety instead of fear." But that's okay because I can create safety for myself and won't go back to toxic relationships.
Thank you Salwa....this is spot on. I ended it ( absolutely no contact) Then started putting the pieces of me back together.... I've read it can take 18 months to rebuild neural pathways...
Beautiful piece, and such an important topic! It look me so long to realize that real love doesn’t need to be chased. I grew up with conditional love, and because that pattern was familiar, it was all i was seeking as an adult. Only in more recent years have I been able to look at that and change it.
I’m going through this right now and it breaks my heart every single day. I’m also in a situation where I can’t just leave, because I won’t get my visa extension without him and he threatens to take my little son away from me.
Jana I'm so sorry to hear that you are having to go through this. I know Im a total stranger, but have volunteered in the courts to help families dealing with this. You can reach out to American Friends Service Committee 973-643-1924, and Catholic Charities Immigration services 973-733-3516 for free legal advice and support. sending you strength! 800-799-7233. National hotline
I have two narcissistic siblings who have jerked me around for years, gaslighting me &, of course, blaming me for all of it. I have “fixed” the relationships several times & now I have reached the turning point. I am done. I have walked away from 1/2 of my family for peace & calm in my life. Although I have disappointed my mother who is used to me fixing things, I have made it clear that it will not happen again. And, despite some sleepless nights, I am ok now. I am blessed with a sister who is still in my life, a wonderful son & very dear friends who are more “family” to me.
Beautifully written, Salwa. You've described toxic relationships so perfectly and so personally without technicalities. I don't think I've ever experienced a love where I feel safe as you describe: " Real love doesn’t need to be chased. It shows up. It stays. It creates safety instead of fear." But that's okay because I can create safety for myself and won't go back to toxic relationships.
Thank you Salwa....this is spot on. I ended it ( absolutely no contact) Then started putting the pieces of me back together.... I've read it can take 18 months to rebuild neural pathways...
If this was learned from experiencing it, I'm sorry and hope you've left it.
In any case, you're words are wise.
It sounds like you have encountered a narcisist. Cut all ties asap and don't look back.
Beautiful piece, and such an important topic! It look me so long to realize that real love doesn’t need to be chased. I grew up with conditional love, and because that pattern was familiar, it was all i was seeking as an adult. Only in more recent years have I been able to look at that and change it.
This is all very very true. Thankful for finding clarity in the mess and waking up to what all games they play. Thank you for sharing 💜
I’m going through this right now and it breaks my heart every single day. I’m also in a situation where I can’t just leave, because I won’t get my visa extension without him and he threatens to take my little son away from me.
Jana I'm so sorry to hear that you are having to go through this. I know Im a total stranger, but have volunteered in the courts to help families dealing with this. You can reach out to American Friends Service Committee 973-643-1924, and Catholic Charities Immigration services 973-733-3516 for free legal advice and support. sending you strength! 800-799-7233. National hotline
I have two narcissistic siblings who have jerked me around for years, gaslighting me &, of course, blaming me for all of it. I have “fixed” the relationships several times & now I have reached the turning point. I am done. I have walked away from 1/2 of my family for peace & calm in my life. Although I have disappointed my mother who is used to me fixing things, I have made it clear that it will not happen again. And, despite some sleepless nights, I am ok now. I am blessed with a sister who is still in my life, a wonderful son & very dear friends who are more “family” to me.
Walking away from something that once felt like everything. More power to us.
Walking away from something that once felt like everything. More power to us.
I'm so sorry, Salwa. 😔 Poetically written.