This really resonated with me. I’ve been dealing with anxiety for years - the worst after my husband died. Seven years later I still have moments when anxiety hits unexpectedly. And yes, at times I think no one would understand my reaction. So I rarely discuss it. My beautiful husband was my listener, my calm & I lost that when he died.
Tina, thank you so much for sharing this. I’m truly sorry for your loss and I can only imagine how deeply that grief and anxiety are woven together. It makes so much sense that your body still reacts, even years later. You’re not alone in that, even if it feels that way sometimes. I’m really honoured this resonated with you. Sending you warmth and gentleness
That means so much to hear. I know that feeling....the mix of relief and vulnerability when something finally puts words to what you’ve been carrying. I’m really grateful this reached you in that way. You deserve to be seen, truly and fully.
Ah I started writing a long comment and then my long fingers deleted it by accident.. I'll try again.. haha.
So basically, I HEAR you, everything you've said.. I resonated with. I hadn't experienced anxiety until a few years back and it hit me out of nowhere, right in the chest!
It wasn't a result of thinking of anything (and no representation of my mindset as I am naturally a positive thinker nowadays) but my body had held on to trauma and I started feeling these waves of panic from nowhere. I'd be making a coffee or doing something mundane and BAM, from nowhere these feelings would come.
I thought there was something seriously wrong but no, it turns out there were a lot of things I had repressed/not dealt with.
So I thank you for sharing something that is important to speak on.. everything is held in the body and that's scary really to think you can be so unaware of it and I agree, you absolutely cannot just 'think' your way out of it when you didn't think your way into it to begin with.
Jojo, I’m so glad you shared this....thank you. What you described is exactly what so many of us go through, and yet it still feels so isolating when it happens. That sudden wave of panic during something ordinary...it’s terrifying and confusing, especially when your mind feels calm but your body’s reacting like it’s under attack. You put it perfectly: we didn’t think our way into it, so we can’t just think our way out. I really appreciate your honesty and I’m so grateful this resonated with you.
I understand, my anxiety episodes started around age 14…I went to many doctors who didn’t understand. I stop explaining it to them, because they treated me as if everything was all in my head and suffered quietly for years. It took me 40 years and 1 brillant therapist to finally understand it. I still struggle but at least I understand now. Solidarity Salwa 🫶🏻.
Thank you so much for sharing that. I’m so sorry you went through all those years without being truly heard—it’s heartbreaking how often that happens. And yet, your story gives so much hope too. Understanding doesn’t erase the struggle, but it changes everything. I’m really glad you found that brilliant therapist and some clarity after all that time. Solidarity right back at you 🫶🏻
Saving this to re-read. I go to dance therapy to try and help my body remembering how to relax… hypervigilance and hyperindependence are things I’m very familiar with
Thank you for sharing that....dance therapy sounds like such a powerful way to reconnect with your body. Hypervigilance and hyperindependence can feel like armour we’ve worn for so long, it’s hard to remember what softness feels like. I hope you keep finding moments that help your body exhale, even just a little. Sending you warmth as you keep going.
This “What’s helped me most hasn’t been mindset tricks or motivational quotes - it’s been learning how to create moments of safety inside my own body.”
Really helped me from the direction of shame. I have shame triggers that kick up in certain areas related to past shaming and once the trigger trips, anxiety is part of my protective response.
Once a shame trigger trips, I am not fit for my own relating yet alone relating with anyone else.
I really appreciate you sharing your lived experience. That’s valuable sharing along with the actions you take to support yourself. I am finding micro actions like the ones you listed the most effective.
Really wonderful article! It’s a keeper. Thank you so much!🙏
Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment. I really relate to what you said about shame triggers....they can feel so consuming, and I completely understand that sense of needing to step back from even your own inner world when they hit. I’m so glad the part about creating moments of safety spoke to you. It’s taken me time to learn that healing doesn’t have to be huge or dramatic....those micro actions truly are everything. I’m really grateful you connected with the piece. Thank you for reading with such openness.
I’m so glad it reached you at the right time Sam. Thank you for your kind words and it means a lot that you’re looking forward to what’s coming next. I’ll keep writing with my heart wide open. 💕
Thanks for this post. I've been dealing with anxiety in my day to day life and sometimes it gets really toight. Llearning to sit through anxiety and practicing yoga nidra has taken me out of some tough spots.
Keep up with what you are doing! It matters so much.
Thank you so much...I’m really glad you shared that. Anxiety can feel so suffocating at times, and it’s powerful that you’ve found something like yoga nidra to help you through. Sitting with it, rather than fighting it, takes so much strength. I’m truly touched that this resonated with you. And thank you for the encouragement...it means a lot.
Thank you Grace! That part has been such a big shift for me....realising that I don’t have to fight anxiety, but can actually learn to work with it. I’m really glad that stood out to you. It means a lot to know it landed
I’ve had severe anxiety for as long as I can remember. After self-medicating for many years, and lots of psych meds and therapy, I’m learning to live with the anxiety as if it were similar to other chronic physical illnesses. Trying to not expect myself to be able to fix it. Some days I can’t function very well, but other days I’m able to do the things I want to do. People don’t understand. That includes my husband. It’s a hard way to live. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I really feel the strength in your words, and the quiet courage it takes to keep going, especially when others don’t fully understand. Treating anxiety like a chronic condition instead of something to “fix” can be such a compassionate shift and it’s one I’ve found peace in too. Some days are heavier than others, and that doesn’t make you any less strong or capable. I’m really grateful you’re here, and I see you
I am still living everything you cited and more. But I finally had my first therapy session and I feel hope for the first time I can remember. Hope that I can get well and can learn things like grounding. I have no skills yet but hope to have them soon!
Thank you so much for sharing this Sandra....I’m really moved by your words. That first therapy session is such a big, brave step, and I’m so glad you felt a spark of hope. That’s the beginning of so much. You don’t need to have all the skills yet....just the willingness to begin is powerful. I’m rooting for you as you keep going. You deserve healing, safety, and softness. 💕
Salwa, this is fascinating. It's a great reminder that people can have a lot of anxiety for very different reasons. I am sorry your husband passed away- an added stress.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful words. And I really appreciate your kindness though just to clarify, I haven’t lost a husband. But I’m truly grateful for your compassion, and you’re absolutely right: anxiety can come from so many different places, and understanding that helps us all be a little gentler with each other.
Salwa, Thank you for sharing so honestly and vulnerably about your journey with anxiety. I had my first intense "anxiety" attack a month ago after my bathroom flooded and my body filled with adrenaline trying to mop it up quickly. I had to call the paramedics, but fortunately, I didn't have to go to the hospital. In the aftermath with all the fear of a recurrence, I'm leaning into accepting rather than suppression and greatly appreciate all your suggestions. You write about anxiety so beautifully, it's calming to read your words.
Thank you so much for sharing that with me Sandra. I can only imagine how overwhelming that experience must have been.....our bodies really do respond in ways that can catch us completely off guard. It’s so brave of you to move toward acceptance rather than pushing it down, especially when fear is still so fresh. I’m really touched that my words offered even a bit of calm. You’re not alone in this, and I’m so glad you’re here.
Loved my hubby and best friend, will always love him! Many severe hospitalizations and last one he didn’t come back 💔😞. Lots of amazing adventures too. Accidents happened. Lived to serve him and would do so all over again. But ran on hyper vigilance, adrenaline. Wanted to take care of his needs. Miss helping him. Trauma wakes me up sometimes bc of things that happened and I think I hear him needing help. He helped me mentally, processing life. I helped him physically. He was my other puzzle piece. Loved serving him. An amazing man! His needed dependance on me, forced me to be independent. So life without him has been incredibly hard. He was a servant to all who knew him. Although he became a quadriplegic in the hospital in va, he nvr let them stop him.
Yes, ppl say don’t overthink it, look on the bright side soooo dislike that! I analyze and process a lot, slowly, my own way. Hvg a specific learning disability…learning to hear after being very hard if hearing until surgery at 4… has made me persevere… thankful for those who helped me do so much.
Thank you for sharing this so openly and with such deep love. I can feel how much he meant to you and still does. The way you describe your bond, the care you both gave one another, the strength it took to keep going through everything… it’s incredibly moving. What you carried, what you gave, and what you still feel now is not small. It makes complete sense that your body still wakes in that state of alertness. You spent so long in service to love....real, tender, powerful love and it shaped you. That doesn’t just vanish.
And I hear you so clearly about needing space to process in your own way. Not everyone understands that, especially when they rush in with quick-fix lines like “don’t overthink it” or “just be positive.” But you’ve lived a life that deserves to be honoured slowly, fully, and in your own time. I’m grateful you shared a piece of that here. Your story, your love, and your strength...it all matters so much.
This really resonated with me. I’ve been dealing with anxiety for years - the worst after my husband died. Seven years later I still have moments when anxiety hits unexpectedly. And yes, at times I think no one would understand my reaction. So I rarely discuss it. My beautiful husband was my listener, my calm & I lost that when he died.
Tina, thank you so much for sharing this. I’m truly sorry for your loss and I can only imagine how deeply that grief and anxiety are woven together. It makes so much sense that your body still reacts, even years later. You’re not alone in that, even if it feels that way sometimes. I’m really honoured this resonated with you. Sending you warmth and gentleness
Oh yes me too!!!! Mine too! Thank you for sharing that! 😫
So sorry to hear you lost your husband and his calming presence. I pray God will send someone else to step in for you.
I feel like someone can see me like really SEE me with this and I don’t know how to feel because of how real and true this is for me.
That means so much to hear. I know that feeling....the mix of relief and vulnerability when something finally puts words to what you’ve been carrying. I’m really grateful this reached you in that way. You deserve to be seen, truly and fully.
Ah I started writing a long comment and then my long fingers deleted it by accident.. I'll try again.. haha.
So basically, I HEAR you, everything you've said.. I resonated with. I hadn't experienced anxiety until a few years back and it hit me out of nowhere, right in the chest!
It wasn't a result of thinking of anything (and no representation of my mindset as I am naturally a positive thinker nowadays) but my body had held on to trauma and I started feeling these waves of panic from nowhere. I'd be making a coffee or doing something mundane and BAM, from nowhere these feelings would come.
I thought there was something seriously wrong but no, it turns out there were a lot of things I had repressed/not dealt with.
So I thank you for sharing something that is important to speak on.. everything is held in the body and that's scary really to think you can be so unaware of it and I agree, you absolutely cannot just 'think' your way out of it when you didn't think your way into it to begin with.
I appreciate you!
Yes, can’t think your way out of it.
Jojo, I’m so glad you shared this....thank you. What you described is exactly what so many of us go through, and yet it still feels so isolating when it happens. That sudden wave of panic during something ordinary...it’s terrifying and confusing, especially when your mind feels calm but your body’s reacting like it’s under attack. You put it perfectly: we didn’t think our way into it, so we can’t just think our way out. I really appreciate your honesty and I’m so grateful this resonated with you.
I understand, my anxiety episodes started around age 14…I went to many doctors who didn’t understand. I stop explaining it to them, because they treated me as if everything was all in my head and suffered quietly for years. It took me 40 years and 1 brillant therapist to finally understand it. I still struggle but at least I understand now. Solidarity Salwa 🫶🏻.
Thank you so much for sharing that. I’m so sorry you went through all those years without being truly heard—it’s heartbreaking how often that happens. And yet, your story gives so much hope too. Understanding doesn’t erase the struggle, but it changes everything. I’m really glad you found that brilliant therapist and some clarity after all that time. Solidarity right back at you 🫶🏻
Saving this to re-read. I go to dance therapy to try and help my body remembering how to relax… hypervigilance and hyperindependence are things I’m very familiar with
Thank you for sharing that....dance therapy sounds like such a powerful way to reconnect with your body. Hypervigilance and hyperindependence can feel like armour we’ve worn for so long, it’s hard to remember what softness feels like. I hope you keep finding moments that help your body exhale, even just a little. Sending you warmth as you keep going.
love reading your work. thank you for what you do and write !
Thank you so much...that truly means a lot. I’m really glad you’re here and reading along. It means more than you know.
This “What’s helped me most hasn’t been mindset tricks or motivational quotes - it’s been learning how to create moments of safety inside my own body.”
Really helped me from the direction of shame. I have shame triggers that kick up in certain areas related to past shaming and once the trigger trips, anxiety is part of my protective response.
Once a shame trigger trips, I am not fit for my own relating yet alone relating with anyone else.
I really appreciate you sharing your lived experience. That’s valuable sharing along with the actions you take to support yourself. I am finding micro actions like the ones you listed the most effective.
Really wonderful article! It’s a keeper. Thank you so much!🙏
Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment. I really relate to what you said about shame triggers....they can feel so consuming, and I completely understand that sense of needing to step back from even your own inner world when they hit. I’m so glad the part about creating moments of safety spoke to you. It’s taken me time to learn that healing doesn’t have to be huge or dramatic....those micro actions truly are everything. I’m really grateful you connected with the piece. Thank you for reading with such openness.
I needed this right now. Thank you. Looking forward to your future project 💕
I’m so glad it reached you at the right time Sam. Thank you for your kind words and it means a lot that you’re looking forward to what’s coming next. I’ll keep writing with my heart wide open. 💕
You are such a gem 💞
Thanks for this post. I've been dealing with anxiety in my day to day life and sometimes it gets really toight. Llearning to sit through anxiety and practicing yoga nidra has taken me out of some tough spots.
Keep up with what you are doing! It matters so much.
Thank you so much...I’m really glad you shared that. Anxiety can feel so suffocating at times, and it’s powerful that you’ve found something like yoga nidra to help you through. Sitting with it, rather than fighting it, takes so much strength. I’m truly touched that this resonated with you. And thank you for the encouragement...it means a lot.
Building a relationship WITH anxiety and WITH your body! This is SO good, Salwa.
Thank you Grace! That part has been such a big shift for me....realising that I don’t have to fight anxiety, but can actually learn to work with it. I’m really glad that stood out to you. It means a lot to know it landed
I’ve had severe anxiety for as long as I can remember. After self-medicating for many years, and lots of psych meds and therapy, I’m learning to live with the anxiety as if it were similar to other chronic physical illnesses. Trying to not expect myself to be able to fix it. Some days I can’t function very well, but other days I’m able to do the things I want to do. People don’t understand. That includes my husband. It’s a hard way to live. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I really feel the strength in your words, and the quiet courage it takes to keep going, especially when others don’t fully understand. Treating anxiety like a chronic condition instead of something to “fix” can be such a compassionate shift and it’s one I’ve found peace in too. Some days are heavier than others, and that doesn’t make you any less strong or capable. I’m really grateful you’re here, and I see you
Thank you
I am still living everything you cited and more. But I finally had my first therapy session and I feel hope for the first time I can remember. Hope that I can get well and can learn things like grounding. I have no skills yet but hope to have them soon!
Thank you for giving me hope! 💕
Thank you so much for sharing this Sandra....I’m really moved by your words. That first therapy session is such a big, brave step, and I’m so glad you felt a spark of hope. That’s the beginning of so much. You don’t need to have all the skills yet....just the willingness to begin is powerful. I’m rooting for you as you keep going. You deserve healing, safety, and softness. 💕
Thank you Salwa, for your hopeful words. 💕
Salwa, this is fascinating. It's a great reminder that people can have a lot of anxiety for very different reasons. I am sorry your husband passed away- an added stress.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful words. And I really appreciate your kindness though just to clarify, I haven’t lost a husband. But I’m truly grateful for your compassion, and you’re absolutely right: anxiety can come from so many different places, and understanding that helps us all be a little gentler with each other.
Sorry for that misunderstanding about your husband. I am so glad he's still with you and your family!
Salwa, Thank you for sharing so honestly and vulnerably about your journey with anxiety. I had my first intense "anxiety" attack a month ago after my bathroom flooded and my body filled with adrenaline trying to mop it up quickly. I had to call the paramedics, but fortunately, I didn't have to go to the hospital. In the aftermath with all the fear of a recurrence, I'm leaning into accepting rather than suppression and greatly appreciate all your suggestions. You write about anxiety so beautifully, it's calming to read your words.
Thank you so much for sharing that with me Sandra. I can only imagine how overwhelming that experience must have been.....our bodies really do respond in ways that can catch us completely off guard. It’s so brave of you to move toward acceptance rather than pushing it down, especially when fear is still so fresh. I’m really touched that my words offered even a bit of calm. You’re not alone in this, and I’m so glad you’re here.
Salwa, you always the right thing to say to me.
That means so much....thank you. I’m really glad the words land with you in the way they do. It’s an honour to share this space with you.
Loved my hubby and best friend, will always love him! Many severe hospitalizations and last one he didn’t come back 💔😞. Lots of amazing adventures too. Accidents happened. Lived to serve him and would do so all over again. But ran on hyper vigilance, adrenaline. Wanted to take care of his needs. Miss helping him. Trauma wakes me up sometimes bc of things that happened and I think I hear him needing help. He helped me mentally, processing life. I helped him physically. He was my other puzzle piece. Loved serving him. An amazing man! His needed dependance on me, forced me to be independent. So life without him has been incredibly hard. He was a servant to all who knew him. Although he became a quadriplegic in the hospital in va, he nvr let them stop him.
Yes, ppl say don’t overthink it, look on the bright side soooo dislike that! I analyze and process a lot, slowly, my own way. Hvg a specific learning disability…learning to hear after being very hard if hearing until surgery at 4… has made me persevere… thankful for those who helped me do so much.
Thank you for sharing this so openly and with such deep love. I can feel how much he meant to you and still does. The way you describe your bond, the care you both gave one another, the strength it took to keep going through everything… it’s incredibly moving. What you carried, what you gave, and what you still feel now is not small. It makes complete sense that your body still wakes in that state of alertness. You spent so long in service to love....real, tender, powerful love and it shaped you. That doesn’t just vanish.
And I hear you so clearly about needing space to process in your own way. Not everyone understands that, especially when they rush in with quick-fix lines like “don’t overthink it” or “just be positive.” But you’ve lived a life that deserves to be honoured slowly, fully, and in your own time. I’m grateful you shared a piece of that here. Your story, your love, and your strength...it all matters so much.
Thank you Salwa!!! I need to print this comment out. What a wonderful counselor you are. You don’t even know.