32 Comments

You are so right about grief following you and changing shape. You are never the same person again after you lose someone you love. Neither is your world the same, it's a different one you live in now, without the person you loved in it.

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So true. Grief doesn’t disappear…it just reshapes itself around us. Life continues, but it’s never quite the same. We learn to carry the loss, to exist in a world that feels different without them. Thank you for your thoughtful words. ❤️

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What a beautiful sharing of your love for your brother and coming to terms with your grief! This comes at such a helpful time for me, as I am grieving the fresh loss of my Robert. I'm sure this post will help many others as well. Thank you so very much! I would come play catch with you if I could!

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Joyce, I’m so sorry for your loss. Grieving someone we love is such a deeply personal journey, and I hope you’re giving yourself all the grace and space you need right now. It means so much that my words could bring even a little comfort during this time. And I’d absolutely take you up on that game of catch if I could! Sending you love and warmth as you navigate this. ❤️

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We live with the memory of our love and life together. (My wife of 62 years passed away after two painful years on Nov. 2, 2023)

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Larry, I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. 62 years of love is a beautiful and profound thing, and I can only imagine the weight of that absence. Grief is love that has nowhere to go, but I hope you find comfort in the memories you built together. Wishing you strength and peace in the days ahead. ❤️

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I am so glad you found your brother after all that time. He was there waiting. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story with us.

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Thank you so much. That thought—that he was there waiting brings me a kind of peace I didn’t know I needed. I’m grateful to have finally found him and to be able to share this journey. It means a lot that you took the time to read it. ❤️

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Salwa, such a lovely post. I'm glad you found him in the physical and that you have a place to go and be with him whenever you want. But he was never lost in the spiritual. He lives in your heart. As long as you have memories and think of him he is never lost. Just gone until the next time you see each other. Hugs and love.

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Thank you so much for your kind words Kimberly. You’re right…he was never truly lost in the spiritual sense. He’s always been with me, in my heart, in my memories, in the love that never left. Finding his resting place gave me something tangible, but I know now that I’ve carried him with me all along.

Your words bring me so much comfort. Hugs and love right back to you. ❤️

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In reading this poignant post the one thing that really struck me was, your brother was never lost, at least to you. He was always there, in your heart, your breath, your mind, your daily grind. He was always there for you to find.

Finding a physical grave site to sit at and visit was important for you and I'm glad you were eventually successful. I'm glad you found the place where you could say goodbye. However, even when you are absent from this physical spot, you still carry him with you everywhere. He has a home in you.

It never is truly a goodbye.

It is a goodbye for now; waiting for the next hello.

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Nancy, this is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read. You’re right…he was never truly lost to me. He’s been with me in ways I couldn’t always articulate, in the quiet spaces of my heart, in the memories that never faded.

Finding his resting place gave me something tangible, a place to sit with the grief I had carried for so long. But even without it, he has always had a home in me. And I love the way you put it—it’s never truly goodbye, just a goodbye for now, until the next hello.

Thank you for these words. They mean more than I can say. ❤️

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Dear Salwa

As I marked the 10th anniversary of my sister's unexpected passing, I am deeply moved by your words and the raw emotion you've shared. Your reflection resonates profoundly with my own experience of loss, and I find myself nodding in recognition of the complex emotions you've so eloquently described. The way you've captured the essence of unfinished grief—the tears that connect past and present, the search for closure, and the transformative power of acceptance—speaks directly to my heart.

Your journey mirrors my own in many ways, as I too have grappled with the loss of my only sister a decade ago. The path of grief is indeed long and painful, but as you beautifully express, it is also filled with love. Your words about carrying our loved ones with us through different seasons of life, and the enduring nature of love despite the passage of time, offer comfort and validation to those of us who continue to navigate the landscape of loss.

Thank you for your vulnerability and for sharing this deeply personal process. Your message serves as a beacon of hope and understanding for all who carry unfinished grief, reminding us that our love for those we've lost remains a vital, transformative force in our lives.

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This is such a beautiful message, and I’m deeply touched that my words resonated with you. Losing a sister, especially one so dear, leaves a mark that time doesn’t erase—it just changes how we carry it.

Anniversaries bring up so many emotions, don’t they? The love, the ache, the memories that still feel so vivid. I love how you put it—grief is long and painful, but also filled with love. That’s exactly it.

Thank you for sharing a piece of your story with me. It means a lot. And I hope that, in all the ways she still lingers in your life, your sister’s presence brings you warmth today. Sending you love. 💙

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1dEdited

Thank you for your lovely tribute to your Brother. I hosted a memorial for my brother this past weekend so this was very meaningful and timely. He was a musician and an old hippie. We set his ashes free into the wind at his favorite lake. Ironically the song that was playing was ‘Blowing in the Wind’ by Bob Dylan. The next day a photo memory appeared on my phone with him giving the 🤙 Hawaiian hand gesture. I took these God Winks to be saying he was okay. Grief is definitely a mystical, spiritual process. And I have learned that grief intertwines both love and loss, looking for meaning.

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That’s such a beautiful way to honour your brother. The timing of the song and the photo memory—those little signs—really do feel like gentle winks from beyond. Grief is so complex, but I love how you put it—intertwining love and loss, always searching for meaning. Sending you love as you navigate it. ❤️

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Beautifully written! By sharing his memory with others, sharing the impact he had, you ensure that his life continues to reverberate. We are all now feeling a bit of his significance. What a tribute that is.

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Thank you so much for this. That thought that his life continues to reverberate through the sharing of his memory—means everything to me. Knowing that others can feel even a glimpse of his significance is a tribute I never expected but deeply cherish. ❤️

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Deeply moved by your story, you, your grief, the power of the finding. So potent. 🙏

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Thank you so much Megan. Grief is such a heavy thing to carry, but finding him after all these years brought a kind of peace I didn’t know I needed. I truly appreciate your kind words and the space you’ve held for this story. 🙏❤️

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What a gift to be experiencing this peace after all these years. 💛

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Thanks for sharing your heart!!

Maybe you’ve lost someone and never got to say goodbye. Maybe there are questions left unanswered, words left unsaid, or memories you cling to because they’re all you have.

I felt this!!

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Thank you for reading and for sharing this with me. Grief is so complex—those unanswered questions, the unsaid words, the memories that become lifelines. I’m glad this resonated with you, even though I know that kind of feeling comes from a place of loss. Sending you love. ❤️

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Thank you for sharing Salwa.

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You welcome Kyle and thank you for reading

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Virtual hugs Salwa!

They might not be present with you but they stay in your heart forever.

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Virtual hugs right back to you! ❤️ You’re so right our loved ones may not be physically here, but they never truly leave us. We carry them in our hearts, in our memories, in the love that never fades. Thank you for your kindness. 🤗❤️

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Salwa - I, truly, thank you for sharing another part of your profound story(its) that is your life and the ongoing journey of you.

“I found you. I never stopped looking, and I found you.” - So poignant! I hope in some "cosmic" sort of way - what you internalized through your relationship with your brother - you have been able to live out reinvent and "repeat in the best sense of the word" with your son!

Happy Valentine's Day my friend🫀

Thank you for making my day feel less lonely and poignant in a way that matters to me. 🙇

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Bronce, thank you so much for your beautiful words. That line still sits heavy in my heart—it was a promise I carried for so long. And in many ways, you’re right. The love I had for my brother has shaped the way I love my 2 sons, the way I hold onto those I cherish, and the way I try to be present in the moments that matter.

I’m truly touched that my story made your day feel a little less lonely. That means more to me than I can say. Sending you love and warmth, my friend. 🫀❤️

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Absolutely beautiful, thank you so much for writing this. It’s moved me to tears.

I lost father of my children 10 years ago, but we had separated and he had remarried .

We had three children and as I put them on the plane to his funeral, I completely forgot about my own needs to say goodbye .

What a mistake. We need to say goodbye. The unresolved grief has carried with me through the years and affected everything I’ve thought and said an invisible weight that’s never gone.

No one talks about these things, they are an articulated. It’s impacted with my health, my wealth, self-esteem, unresolved grief that gradually slowly dismantled me before I could even articulate what it was.

I supported my three children through the process, and constantly felt like I was failing without knowing why .

Don’t get me wrong things are much better now. I am at least articulate. And I have found my own ways to treasure and maintain the contact that we did have. No one thought to invite me to the funeral. When I sent a card, it was returned with hate.

Damaging. I’m gently moving on now. It’s good.. we do carry our loved ones with us always. The article is so beautiful, I can’t thank you enough for writing it.

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Kaya, your words carry so much weight, and I feel deeply honoured that my writing resonated with you. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through—grief, when left unspoken or unacknowledged, has a way of weaving itself into every part of life. It’s heartbreaking that you weren’t given the space to say goodbye, and even more so that your grief was met with rejection instead of understanding.

But I love what you said about gently moving on now. That kind of healing is quiet but powerful. And you’re right…we do carry our loved ones with us always, in ways that can’t be erased. Thank you for sharing this part of your story with me. It means more than I can say. ❤️

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Hi! It’s great to connect with you. I’m a writer—I share reflections on life, mental health, and the experience of life. But I’m also a huge reader! I love getting lost in a good book

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