What I Learned from Being Bullied

A raw reflection on kindness, healing, and self-discovery.

Picture by Andrew Small from Unplash

There are some stories I carry with me that I never wanted to tell. Stories that don’t sit comfortably under the glow of reflection, even now. Being bullied is one of them. But the truth is, those experiences shaped me in ways I’m only now beginning to understand. So, here I am, writing about something that still stings—something I wish no one had to endure.

The Lonely Classroom

The bullying didn’t happen all at once. It crept in slowly, like a shadow stretching longer each day. I remember the humiliation of being laughed at for things I couldn’t change: my clothes, my body, the way I spoke. I’d hear whispers as I walked past, feel the pointed stares during lessons, and endure the snide comments that sliced me when no one else seemed to notice.

The worst part? I started to believe them.

At some point, I stopped seeing the cruelty as an attack and started wearing it as a badge. I must be everything they say I am, I thought. That’s the power of bullying—it doesn’t just hurt you in the moment; it plants seeds of doubt that can grow roots deep inside your soul.

The Silent Battle

I rarely told anyone what was happening. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t know how. I convinced myself that speaking up wouldn’t make a difference. Teachers seemed oblivious, and the idea of telling my parents felt like admitting I couldn’t handle it. So I swallowed it.

But keeping it inside didn’t mean I escaped it. The fear followed me everywhere. The anxiety of what might happen next settled into my chest and made a home there. I stopped raising my hand in class. I avoided the lunchroom. I learned how to make myself invisible, though that didn’t stop their taunts from finding me.

What Bullying Took From Me

I lost so much during those years. My confidence evaporated like smoke. I stopped trusting people because I was convinced kindness always came with strings. I missed out on friendships because I didn’t think I was worthy of them.

Even now, as an adult, I catch myself doubting whether people really mean it when they’re kind to me. That’s the lingering scar bullying leaves behind—it teaches you to question your own worth over and over again.

The Strength That Grew in the Dark

But here’s the thing about pain: it shapes you. It doesn’t excuse what happened, but it changes you in ways you might not expect. Looking back, I see how those dark years forced me to grow.

I learned to notice others in pain. When someone sits quietly in a group or avoids eye contact, I see them because I’ve been them. Bullying made me more empathetic than I ever thought I could be. It also gave me a kind of quiet resilience. Surviving those moments taught me that even when the world feels unbearable, I can keep going.

And eventually, I found my voice. It took time—years, really—but I started to realise that the things they said about me weren’t true. They were reflections of their own insecurities, not mine. That realisation didn’t erase the damage, but it started to heal it.

The Lessons That Shaped Me

If there’s one thing bullying taught me, it’s the value of kindness. Not the shallow, performative kind, but real kindness—the kind that sees someone who’s hurting and says, “I’m here.”

It also taught me how to advocate for myself, even when it’s uncomfortable. The ability to say, “No, this isn’t okay,” didn’t come naturally to me. But when you’ve endured years of being silenced, finding your voice becomes an act of survival.

And perhaps most importantly, bullying taught me that we are not defined by what happens to us. I am not just the girl who was bullied. I am someone who survived it, learned from it, and grew because of it.

To Anyone Who’s Been There

If you’ve been bullied, I want you to know this: your pain is real, and it matters. You didn’t deserve it. None of it. But please don’t let it dim your light. The things they said about you, the way they treated you—that’s not who you are.

You’re stronger than you know, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. And one day, you’ll look back and realise that their cruelty couldn’t extinguish the person you were always meant to be.

And to anyone reading this who might be standing on the sidelines, wondering if they can make a difference: you can. You don’t need to be a hero or change the world overnight. Sometimes, just being kind is enough.

With love,
Salwa

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